Seth Sara

Life is a series of cycles of responsibilities and debts repaying. Monetary debts not in my agenda here.

God is fair. When we were young, our parents brought us up. Giving us the best. And when we in turn grow up, we reproduce and give the best to our children. It’s called retribution to some. Heh. I was a tough kid to bring up, so now I’ve got to be prepared for a tough kid in return. Occasionally, they become a blessing, a time for repentance. Some have been brought up in a difficult family, and so now it’s time to bring up their own differently, to make up for lost childhood.

My mother gave me what she didn’t have. A mother. Her’s died when she was eight. Whatever she suffered as a kid without a mum’s love, she gave to us double. Now’s my turn to pass on the love.

Of course, there are those who dwell so snugly in their parent’s love they refuse to get married, or even if they did, have kids. Why should they burden themselves with children when they are happily married/single and enjoying total independence? Oh well, are the parents stupid or what, to give up their own pleasures for them?

On the other hand, we as children, have the duty to serve our parents, to be filial. Ok this may be a Chinese thing. From what I know, the aussies grow up and moved out of family homes to be independent, and that’s being filial, giving parents back their freedom. As a Chinese with roots and value instilled in me such as filial piety and such, I’ve been brought up to know that I’ve got to repay my parents’ ‘kindness in bringing me up.’

Since I started work years ago, I’ve been giving them ‘monthly allowances’. My parents have got their own earning power and do not need my little contribution, but they accepted the money so I will not ‘take them for granted’.

Repaying their kindness also involves filial acts. Acts like being respectful, supportive, and whatever is required. Recently, it has boiled down to being in agreement to whatever business venture my mum is exploring, even if it is at the expense of my own business. I am told to ‘look ahead’ into the near future, i.e 5 years down the road. Forgive my unfilial objections, for I seem to be more concerned with my empty cash register at the moment.

Being filial is also gauged by my willingness to drive my mum to Malaysia at 6am in the morning. A 45 min (only!) ride there followed by another 45 min to return to Singapore and start my work day. Only to return the following night, after a long day at work, to fetch her back to Singapore, ‘so she can return again in 2 days time’. Forgive me for being unfilial, but I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant, my bladder’s always full and I am all the time tired. That is not counting the S$30 on toll and petrol, per trip, made to and fro. Money should not be my concern right? Since I’m ONLY just having my first child, and have my savings all tied up in a business, not drawing any salary for months, and luxuriously munching bread for lunch.