Seth Sara

More than a month after giving birth and I’m almost settling down into my new life. I’ve given up my beauty salon to take care of Seth full time. Some say it’s a waste but I see it as a blessing. The first 4 years of a child’s life is the foundation years. It is said that the character is built during this time and whatever he learns after that is just an add-on. For me, I see it as being there for him during the most crucial years of his life, years where he needs me the most. Yes, life may be harder now that I have no income. I’m working part time at home and hopefully that can help a little in the expenses. The thought of going out and earning money to employ a domestic helper who will get to spend all her time with my baby, and seeing my baby choose her over me is just too much to bear. So there! Seeing my little one look at me with his baby eyes, and everything I’ve given up is worth it!

Speaking of giving up. Sleep is one thing I’ve given up these couple of months. Many times I’ve contemplated letting him cry himself to sleep at night, but couldn’t put myself down to it. I’ll pick him up and pat him to sleep before carefully putting him down again, thus taking up maybe an hour of my bedtime. This, I believe, will be the first of many sacrifices we, as parents, will have to make.

My mother has not failed to remind me of that. Of the many sacrifices she had made for us. And how life was way more difficult back then. Of how, when we grew up and choose to defy her, to break her heart, how we got married and put our husbands before her. All these, she says will come full cycle. There’ll be the day my son’ll be all grown up, find his life partner, and choose his family over me. And at that time, all I can do is to give him my blessings and not calculate the love I’d given him.

I shall remind myself that my duty is to bring him up to be a fine young man. To shower him with love and everything he’ll ever need in life. My love shall be unconditional and he will not have to repay me. In that way, I’ll never have to bear the pain of letting go.

Hmm… In the meantime, I’ve just got to get out of this yellow-faced housewife mentality. I need to get out of the house, enjoy my new life with my new kid instead of staying home and changing diapers and feeding milk every 3 hours. Life as a mother can be enjoyable. And I plan to enjoy it!